Reset Button
by spiffytgm
Summary: Trenton Police Officer Robin Russell has hit rock bottom. Can she redeem herself and find her own HEA in the process?


**This is the other story I had planned to follow Carma. (I know I said three, but I changed my mind.) In that story, Robin Russell wasn't a very likable person, and I was harsh with her. The best part about hitting bottom though is the chance to hit the restart button, and maybe get it right this time. Think of the song Fallen by Sarah McLachlan. This one starts straight out with the angst, instead of my usual sarcastic wit and a burning car. Anyway, let me know which story you would like to see next, this one or "Burning Love". I blame Margaret, she put the idea in my head... ;-)**

**BTW, all the characters that strike you as familiar belong to Janet Evanovich. The mistakes are mine, though. I make nothing from this other than that warm fuzzy feeling I get from your reviews.**

I don't think my life can get much worse at this point. I have been the object of departmental scorn and ridicule ever since my affair with Detective Joseph Morelli became public knowledge. I can barely keep my head up while I'm doing patrols around a neighborhood where I once held it up with pride. I can't go out to any of the clubs where I used to hang out with friends. At least I thought they were friends. It's funny how none of them have called me since the day his ex-fiancee aired his dirty laundry on Hamilton Ave. I could blame all of my troubles on them, but I made my bed, and I have to take responsibility for my choices.

I decided on a rare day off to head out of town. I may as well be a leper at home. I haven't had a date in a month. The only men who will even bother to look in my direction are interested in an easy score. Most of them are married. I may have slept with Joe while he was engaged, but I've never slept with a married man.

I never got an official reprimand. There was no evidence of misconduct, just rumors. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop my fellow officers from looking down their noses at me. It doesn't stop them from filling my locker with whips and chains. It didn't stop my captain from telling me that he'll be watching me closely.

My name is Robin Russell. I am a patrol officer with the Trenton Police Department. I am 5'6", which is a little short for a police officer, but I make it work for me, and 120lbs of curves. I have straight blonde hair razor cut just below my ears and big brown eyes. None of that matters right now. Right now I'm an anonymous woman in an anonymous bar an hour away from home in Newark, NJ.

I sit at the bar sipping my Cosmo and listening to the steady beat of the music. Here none of the women give me nasty looks and pull their boyfriends closer. If a guy asks me to dance, it's just a dance. I have considered transferring out of Trenton, but I'm stronger than that. I'm not going to run with my tail between my legs. I need to start again, but I'm determined to do it in my hometown. Once you hit bottom, the only way to go is up, right?

I was watching the action on the dance floor. I really like to dance. I can let myself go while I'm dancing. I can feel someone sit next to me, but I don't turn. I feel my new neighbor lean into me and ask, "Buy you a drink?"

I turn to see if what kind of potential this guy has. If he looks like he can dance, I'll let him buy me a drink. I am instantly taught a lesson in life. When you're down, never ask yourself if it can get any worse. Fate sometimes has a wicked sense of humor.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

-lyrics-

Heaven bent to take my hand  
And lead me through the fire  
Be the long awaited answer  
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best  
But somewhere along the way  
I got caught up in all there was to offer  
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent  
Love was raw and young  
We believed that we could change ourselves  
The past could be undone  
But we carry on our backs the burden  
Time always reveals  
In the lonely light of morning  
In the wound that would not heal  
It's the bitter taste of losing everything  
That I've held so dear.

I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bent to take my hand  
Nowhere left to turn  
I'm lost to those I thought were friends  
To everyone I know  
Oh they turn their heads embarrassed  
Pretend that they don't see  
But it's one missed step  
One slip before you know it  
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so...


End file.
